A month ago, I was offered a marketing internship with WM and one with WATG. I had the most difficult time of my life deciding which company I wanted to work with. They are both architectural firms and I was much more impressed by WATG’s lobby in comparison to WM’s lobby. Well, in the end I decided to intern for WM.
Two weeks ago, on my second day at WM, I was being trained to make layouts for project photos. I was browsing through photos of interiors to make a digital brochure with. I saw that they had WATG so I opened the file. IT WAS THE VERY LOBBY THAT I WAS INSANELY IMPRESSED WITH!
It’s ironic that WATG, an architectural firm, hired WM, another architectural firm, to design their lobby. And it’s very entertaining to me that I chose to intern with the company whose work I was impressed by. Who would’ve known?
What do I do when I like having a million things to do, a million things to think about, where it’s to the point that if I focus on one thing and one thing only, I get bored and take it for granted?
B/c when I sit around and certain songs come on, it triggers something in me. Something about the mood of the song makes me think of this one thing. This one thing I can have but for some reason, choose not to have. Perhaps even push away b/c I don’t appreciate this one thing as much as I should or used to do in the past.
I miss it. I miss having that appreciation I used to have. What happened to it? How did I become this way?
Is what I think I want for myself way off base from what I actually need for myself to be happy? Am I just keeping myself to having a million things to do to avoid thinking about what I really need for myself? B/c when a million things dwindle down to none, that one thing finds its way back into my thoughts….
9. Who is that one person you want to say sorry to?
LMAO. I POSTED #12 BEFORE #9 - #11 LOL. Oops….
Anyway. One person huh? Hmm…
That one guy from my senior year in high school. The stalker guy. Yeah, a little odd that he’s one person I want to say sorry to huh? Well, it all started that morning when I found his confession letter in my locker. I’ll spare you the details. When I went to sit down and look at it, my classmates were surrounding me and so was my teacher. They all made a big commotion over it and even got the dean to bring him to her office and confronted him. The dean later told me that he was actually extremely embarrassed. My friends said they never saw him at school after that. I want to apologize that he went through that humiliation. I didn’t mean to have so much unwanted attention on him. I didn’t even ask for anyone to confront him… And for that, I’m sorry.
(If you want the whole story, feel free to ask me in person ahah)
And there’s a few more people in my life but I chose this one since it isn’t a typical past relationship apology.
12. Are you satisfied or happy with your life right now?
Hmm. For the most part, yes? I like being busy and it’s nice that I can keep organized and balanced with school, internship, CA, friends, and still find time to sleep! Sometimes I do forget to eat though \: I recently thought of how life will be after I graduate. How it’s just work, work, home, work, work. I’m going to miss having the need to balance so many things at once ):
I’m happy that I have my family. Poofy counts too! I think my appreciation for them grew a lot more this school year. My parents actually facetime’d w/ me today! (: They probably saw my FB status about missing them… :X It was nice though! I teared up a little when I said good night to them ):
Right now, I’m happy to be single. I don’t want to make time for someone else in my life. Unless this person can handle me being very independent from them. I have things I want to do on my own. Things I want to check and keep updated with. If you judge me or disapprove of this, then you’re suffocating me. But now I’m starting to wonder if I’m just pushing people away because once they get close to me, they want to know everything about me. But having me tell them everything is, in a twisted sense, “suffocating” me. I don’t like being forced to tell you everything about me… Hm, I’m complicated. Hahaha, let’s just say I’m in a nice place right now. On my own.
“Curiosity can bring guts out of hiding at times, maybe even get them going. But curiosity usually evaporates. Guts have to go for the long haul. Curiosity’s like a fun friend you can’t really trust. It turns you on and then it leaves you to make it on your own - with whatever guts you can muster.”—Haruki Murakami (via ruineshumaines)
8. What will be the last memory you want to be reminiscing?
How my mom, dad, sister and I were like walking around Disneyland over winter break. We weren’t talking about financial stability, we weren’t talking about work or school or gossiping about other people. We cherished each other’s company. We didn’t worry about what other people wanted because family is family—if we didn’t want to do something, we’d say so. No moves out of courtesy or simply being polite where people MAY secretly be angry about. For the whole day, each of our individual personalities were in play. We all had the chance to act the way we are without the pressure of being “proper.” We even got my mom (who fears roller coasters) to ride on Matterhorn with us! It was a nice day. It seemed like my family really enjoyed it and I’m very glad! I was their Disneyland tour guide, after all (; ahah
[ ]You are tall [x]You like speed [x]You are very outspoken [x]Petrol is the only fuel for you [ ]You have compared cars to celebrities [ ]You look for the quick and easy way of doing things [x]You hate flappy-paddle gearboxes [x]You don’t care what people think [x]You hate Speed Cameras [ ]You don’t care about what you wear TOTAL: 6
Richard Hammond [ ]You love Porsches [x]You have had dental work [ ]You’ve had a near-death experience [ ]You couldn’t remember the near-death experience that you had [x]You like animals [ ]You have named a/your car as though it is a person [x]You are short [ ]You like motorbikes as well as cars [x]You love your family [ ]You drive into things TOTAL: 4
James May [ ]Safety first approach to things [ ]You have little or no sense of direction [ ]People strangely find you attractive [ ]You are careful [ ]You plan and calculate your way through things [ ]Speed isn’t your idea of fun [ ]You can fly a plane [ ]”Bigger is better” you say [ ]You like your luxuries [ ]You have been fired/expelled for doing something funny TOTAL: 0
The Stig [ ]You don’t speak in public [ ]Nobody knows how you really look [ ]You are an excellent driver [ ]You have no fear [ ]You get bored easily [ ]White and/or Black is the only colour for you [ ]You are jealous of Lewis Hamilton [x]There are strange facts about yourself [x]You have been described as not human [ ]You show little emotion TOTAL: 2
Ahahha, and Jeremy Clarkson I am! I’m more like The Stig than I am James May :D
Had a pleasant day today! Went from class straight to boothing and actually flyering to making posters and getting to know a friend better to helping newbies at making posters and joking with a random stranger to getting bitter tea and bumping into another friend who I got to know better to a relaxing class that was informative IN LIFE and getting out two hours early JUST in time to go get my KBBQ on with the girls. Nice, productive day socially, academically, and CA-ly (ahha). Just how I like it :D
“[on the Toyota Prius]: See the trees smile at me as I waft by. And watch the children run into the road, because they haven’t heard me coming.
[on the Toyota Prius engine display]: This, I think, is a particularly good way of distracting you from the child who’s run into the road having not heard you coming.
[continuing about the Prius]: Actually I’m being unfair. The Prius is so slow the child could run into the road, grow his balls, and hit puberty before you ever actually hit him.”—Jeremy Clarkson
6. What will be your last contribution to society?
As cheesy as it may be, perhaps a YouTube video. It’ll have photos, video clips, and music, of course! Of people in my lives and of random people interacting. I want it to be something that touches the heart. That will make you stop and think for a minute. Hopefully it will encourage you to live a better life. To laugh a little more. To appreciate what you have (or don’t have). That minute of realization is all I wish for. From that, many things can change for the better.
5. Who will be the last person you want to be with?
Can I say the younger, healthier version of my grandpa? My most vivid memory of him now is his constant struggle in standing up and walking…
I remember my mom telling me that when they first came to San Francisco, my grandpa was fascinated by the public transportation here and wanted to learn everything he could about the MUNI. He would spend hours a day riding the bus around the city. Now, we worry every time he gets off a chair to walk around.
My mom told me he loves to learn new things, especially languages. And that he loves to talk. I remember being able to speak to my grandpa in English when I was younger. And I recall him taking a dictionary off his bookshelf—it translates Chinese to English and vice-versa. It’s difficult to hear him stutter and to see the strain on his face now when he can’t pronounce the word that is just so perfectly clear in his mind. We have to guess what he wants to say and wait for a shake or nod from him to even try to understand what he wants to tell us.
I remember watching our family videos and seeing my younger grandpa in them. He used to joke and laugh so much! He had the widest smile and whitest teeth I have ever seen! Now, when I can get him to give me a subtle smirk, it means the WORLD to me. Because I know just how much effort he had to put in to express it to me.
I just want to be able to sit down and talk to him. Ask him about what he used to do in Vietnam. Ask him to teach me Vietnamese words. I want to see him up and moving around again. It’s so difficult seeing him confined to a chair and barely walking when I know he used to be an adventurous man. Someone who walked everywhere. Someone who would join a conversation whenever he could. It’s SO HARD to see him in old videos just how often he used to have a smile on his face to barely ever seeing his teeth show today.
The last person I want to be with is my grandpa. I don’t want my most vivid memory of him to be something he’s not. I want to remember how he was before he got so sick. I want to remember the laughing joy we had in those childhood videos. I want to know the man that is my grandpa.