I’ve been thinking… a lot. And I’m a girl. So yeah, I guess this just leads to bad news, right? Hahah
I’ve been looking for work in San Francisco, Irvine, and in Los Angeles. I recently got a few responses and one was a phone interview for a company in LA. The position seems like a great fit and had a few things that I wanted to gain experience in. But just on location alone, I was extremely hesitant on whether or not I want it. It made me reconsider if I even wanted to apply to positions in LA.
Family wants me in San Francisco. I won’t have to pay for any living expenses since I’ll be living with my parents. And well, it’s safe and it’s the known. How can you beat that? But the relationships I have with my friends back home aren’t the same anymore. I’ll just be going home for family and JVPACKSS. And JVPACKSS are going to be scattered everywhere too and you guys know it.
Friends want me in Irvine. I thought I wanted to be in Irvine too since I love all this freedom I have here. I can go out late and come home late and it won’t bother anyone or wake my parents up. I can spontaneously do anything with friends at any given moment without being questioned every single time. I loved going for a drive at 2AM and not have anyone ask me if something’s wrong. It’s a privilege I have gotten used to having and can’t really see myself without.
As for Los Angeles… I don’t have anything there. That’s the scary part. If I were to take a job in LA, there’s no way in hell I’m going to commute from Irvine. I’m going to LIVE in LA. But that’s the biggest problem. Getting work is so uncertain already and having it be so tightly tied to finding a place to live there makes it that much more difficult. I don’t even know where to start.
I’m moving out of Irvine on July 29th. My parents and sister are coming down to help move all my stuff back to San Francisco. What a pain it will be if I all of a sudden get an offer in LA and move back down. Or would I even move back down? Am I ready to step out to face the world on my own? I’ll be honest. I’m not. I’m really not. But I damn well want to find reasons to be ready. More than anything, I want support. I want my parents to understand. I’m not trying to run away from them. I’m just trying to make my own path.